How To Kill A Monster
by Watermelon Kiss
Summary: "You know what gooey monsters are afraid of, Rin?" "...what?" "Frozen toaster waffles." Sakura definitely knows how to kill a monster.


I most definitely do not own anything in Naruto. Just this small little fic.

Made for the April Challenge in kakasaku's LJ community, masochist level. Whee. Had some fun writing this one.

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><p>"There's a monster under my bed!"<p>

Sakura was bending down, peering in the fridge and contemplating if she should buy dinner, force her husband to cook, or simply cook herself – the last option being not too preferable for obvious reasons. She held a pack of expired toaster waffles in her hand, still frozen and untouched. It was precisely when she was about to trash the package that the voice, all too familiar to her, called out with panic and fear. Motherly instincts kicking in, she jumped up the stairs to where the voice came from.

There she was standing in front of the open door, the little girl with cascading messy locks of pink hair. Trickles of crystal-clear teardrops glimmered on the edges of her wide eyes. She looked up to her mother, then with a trembling voice repeated in a whisper, "There's a monster under my bed…"

Sakura knew this to be simply a child's imagination or irrational fear, but she was wiser than those parents who brush off these fears. Having experienced a similar fear – only it was not a monster under her bed, it was a kyuubi outside her window – the young mother decided to do all she could to comfort the little girl and rid of the imaginary monster, once and for all. The resolve strong in her mind, she knelt so her eyes were of the same level with her daughter. Sakura whispered back quietly as if the monster could hear them and attack them, "What kind of monster is this, Rin?"

"I-I don't know, kaa-chan. I was about to pick up the crayon I dropped to the floor. It rolled under the bed and-and-" Rin hesitated, as if she did not know what word to describe the creature she found, "-and I touched it! It was soft and damp and cold and when I pulled back, gooey weird-smelling thing was stuck between my hands!" She showed her right hand, fingers sticky with what appeared to be a somewhat sticky liquid. Sakura sniffed, and the sickening smell assaulted her senses. It was somewhat like a badly-fermented wine, and she could not blame Rin for panicking. Were she in the situation, she probably would have thrown whatever hard object in vicinity towards wherever the goo came from-

-which was precisely what she was about to do.

"You know what gooey monsters are afraid of, Rin?"

"...what?"

"Frozen toaster waffles."

Rin glared at her, mad at her mother for suggesting such an incredulous idea. She thought it was her father's multiple jutsu, or her mother's inhumane strength, or at least some kunai with paper bombs, but no, it had to be toaster waffles. Sakura just shrugged at her daughter's apprehension and came in the little girl's bedroom, kneeling beside the bed. She ripped the waffle package open and handed one to Rin.

As if it was the most sensible thing to do, Sakura said, "Now throw it to the monster."

Rin looked from the frozen waffle in her hand and her mother's all-serious seafoam green eyes, shrugged, and threw the waffle to the floor under the bed clumsily. It vanished in the darkness, making a mere thud as it hit the dusty floor.

Sakura frowned. "Not good enough. It won't die if you don't throw it with more power. Like this." She took a waffle out of the orange package, lifted it high, and threw it was if it was a kunai directed to an enemy. A loud squish and crack – the squish from the monster, and the crack obviously from the damaged floor – and Sakura nodded, satisfied. "Now go and give it a try again."

Five minutes and ten waffles later, the both were sitting on the floor, peering under the bed with equal curiosity. It was then that a man's voice, mildly amused, startled them from behind. "What are my two most favorite girls in the world doing?"

Sakura jumped and looked at her husband. "Kashi! Welcome home," She stood up and hugged Kakashi, one hand tugging his mask down and lips tracing his stubbly jaw. Rin's eyes lit up as she also leaped into her father's hands and clung on him.

"Tou-chan! Kaa-chan was just showing me how to kill a monster!" She happily pointed at the pieces of crumbled, half-thawed waffles on the floor and small splats of goo scattered around them. There was no trace of fear left in her dark green eyes, Sakura noticed, a small smile upon her lips. It was indeed the right decision to "kill" the monster instead of denying its existence.

"Really?" The amused tone was still there, filling every syllable. "With... toaster waffles?" There was no contempt in his voice, just perplexity as he looked around the remnants after the strenuous battle.

"Yup!"

"So is it dead now?"

Rin's smile vanished as if someone just stomped on her soap bubbles. "I... don't know. Kaa-chan! What if it's not dead yet?" Tears started to appear again at the corner of her eyes, her mouth curved downwards, a sob restrained in her throat.

"Don't be silly, Rin," snapped Sakura. "We'll just kill it again if so." With that, she extricated herself from Kakashi's arms, and single-handedly lift the single bed and peered underneath.

It was, undoubtedly, a monstrosity. A small porcelain bowl with a pile of orange-y sludge sat on the wooden planes of the dusty floor, emanating a less-than-pleasant scent around the room. Pieces of waffle were perched on top, embedded on it just like a poor imitation of a wounded monster. "It's dead all right," chuckled Kakashi. "Just sniff at that rotting smell."

Rin's face did not look the slightest bit relieved, though. Instead, she now stared at the "monster" with a newborn fear. She made furtive glances to her mother's now slightly trembling back.

"Hatake Rin," called Sakura softly. Rin, just like any child would, noticed the usage of her full name immediately as an ultimatum from her mother. She held her breath as Sakura continued, "do you know what kind of monster that is?"

"...peach..."

"I can't hear you."

"It's... a peach pudding."

"And why did it end up under your bed?" Sakura asked all these while still holding her gaze on the deformed peach pudding, her back towards Kakashi and Rin.

Rin gulped, once, twice. "I... couldn't finish it, and I thought kaa-chan would be sad if I didn't finish what you cooked for me when I was ill." She was on the verge of tears by now, hiccups interrupting her sentence every now and then. Kakashi didn't say anything. He was, just like his five-year-old daughter, at a loss on what to do. That, and he knew by experience that interrupting Sakura while she was in her "do-not-say-a-thing-or-burn" mood would result in half a dozen broken bones and a pile of bills need to be paid for house repairs.

The furious kunoichi turned and faced Rin. "SO WHY DID YOU-"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" wailed Rin, unable to hold in her sobs any further. "I'm so sorry, kaa-chan... I promise I wouldn't do it again, I'm sorry..."

Sakura stopped. The sight of Rin crying out loud was nothing less than heartbreaking, and Sakura really couldn't blame her for being unable to finish something she cooked. She knelt and held her daughter's plump cheeks. "There. there. It's alright. Just don't do that again, okay? It's extremely unhygienic. Also, I've been looking for that porcelain bowl for a while."

"O-okay," sniffled Rin.

Kakashi smiled. He was nothing short from relieved that Sakura cooled down so easily. He was desperately wishing to whatever deity out there that she wouldn't traumatize their child at such an early age, while at the same time thinking over two hundred and sixty-four scenarios on how he could calm his wife down. Feeling safe as the storm had passed, he knelt and ruffled Rin's hair with a comforting smile.

"So how about we kill the monster under my bed now?"

_Whoops._

"...what monster, Kashi?"

"Eh... I mean..."

"You mean? You have another pudding monster you haven't murdered under our bed? Or is it an udon monster?"

"Actually, it's a soba monster..."

"HATAKE KAKASHI."

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><p>R&amp;R is love :3<p> 


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